Another week, another one-hour wonder! I suppose this is finished, but I don’t like the ending. I don’t know why ‘Gung-ho’ would be an especially Spanish name, but the joke about the sup came to me, so I had to make it Spanish. So, I don’t like the ending, but enjoy!

Gung-Ho! ***

3 Reviews – ££ – #1 of 2 restaurants in Cronge 

***** Love2Review

Excellent service, outstanding food. Not too pricey. Highly recommended.

Gung-Ho!

Thanks, Love2Review!

**** AlisonMorley

Best restaurant in Cronge!

Gung-Ho! 

Thanks, Alison!

Alison Morley

No problem! 

* MrPasta

Can’t believe the good reviews this place is getting. This place is awful. My server was completely uninterested in us. The food, if you can call it that, had obviously been sitting around for ages, because mine was cold when it arrived. Awful. 

Gung-Ho!

I’m sorry to hear that, Mr Pasta. We would be delighted in giving you a £25 bar tab to compensate for your cold food.

MrPasta

Thanks, but I’ll pass. Nothing can remove the taste of cold tomato soup. I’ll be spending my time now at Totorelli’s, the best restaurant in Cronge IMHO. 

Gung-Ho!

Cold tomato soup? Can you just run past us what you ordered again?

MrPasta

Gestapo soup.

Gung-Ho!

GAZPACHO soup is meant to be cold… 

MrPasta

Is it? Because no one else had even HEARD of Gestapo soup, and my wife has been to Italy, so she knows about these things. If you’re going to make stuff up, I’m going to take my custom to Cronge’s other, better, Italian restaurant, Totorelli’s.

Gung-Ho!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gazpacho   This might help. And we’re not an Italian restaurant, we’re a tapas bar, serving Spanish food.

MrPasta

You’re unbelievable. You’ve made up a whole wikipedia page because you were WRONG!

AlisonMorley

This is great. MrPasta, you need to bow out gracefully.

MrPasta

They pay their reviewers!

Gung-Ho!

We certainly do not. 

Love2Review

*grabs popcorn* Quit while you’re behind, Mr Pasta!

MrPasta

You’re all being paid to gang up on me! It shouldn’t be called gUng-ho, it should be gAng-up! You don’t get this kind of treatment at Totorelli’s.

Love2Review

I’m not being paid. Are you, Alison?

AlisonMorley

Certainly not, Love. Wish I was though! But speaking of paying for reviews, have you noticed how Mr Pasta has been banging on about Totorelli’s?

Love2Review

Hmm, suspicious!

MrPasta

I’m not being paid by Totorelli’s, which, incidentally, is the best restaurant for miles around, I just can’t believe the shoddy quality of Gung-Ho! There are only two restaurants in Cronge. You gotta pick a side. I pick Totorelli’s.

Love2Review

Is that £25 bar tab still on offer, Gung-ho?!

Totorelli’s **

3 Reviews – ££ – #2 of 2 restaurants in Cronge

*** Love2Review

Decent enough Italian, good food, just spoilt slightly by the overly-enthusiastic waiter.

**AlisonMorley

Meh, it’s ok. If you want a good plate of pasta, then sure, it’s fine. But here was a very zealous member of the waiting staff who ruined the night slightly. Would have given another star if only he’d calmed down a little.

Totorelli’s

I’m sorry to hear that. Obviously, we’re delighted that our for has inspired our staff to be so excitable, and remember, we are Italians! But we’re sorry it marred your night. 

***** MrPasta

Wow!!!! What a restaurant! Authentic food, authentic atmosphere! Utterly brilliant!!!!! I was blown away by the quality of everything, from the hand-ironed linen napkins, to the waiting staff, who I thought did an incredible job. 10/10, you should go!!

Love2Review

So MrPasta, we meet again. 

MrPasta

You’re that nasty reviewer who was paid by Gung-ho, aren’t you!

Love2Review

I wish I was being paid! Mate, listen, you obviously prefer Totorelli’s, but you don’t have to be quite so, well, gung-ho about it, if you don’t mind the expression. 

AlisonMorley

Love, have you not seen his profile pic? Look at that, think about the enthusiastic waiter… and put two and two together…

Love2Review

OMG, it’s you! 

Totorelli’s

I don’t know what you mean. 

Love2Review

Lol, don’t use your Totorelli’s work account to deny you’re working for Totorelli’s!

MrPasta

This comment was removed by TripAdvisor, who are investigating user MrPasta

AlisonMorley

Whew, that was quite a ride!

Gung-Ho!

Well, that was really something. Alison, Love2Review, there’s a £25 bar tab for you each as a token of appreciation for sorting this out. 

*****SignorLasagna

Excellent restaurant! Really loved it. Ignore all that drama above. It’s really great. If you’re ever in Cronge, this is the place to go.

Totorelli’s

Really pleased to hear that.

Gung-Ho!

…MrPasta?! That you???